I Think I Will Run Away Tomorrow
I was in the middle of transferring ₦35,000 when my data finished. I just sat there staring at the “transaction failed” message like it was a sign from God.
Because that ₦35,000 was not in my budget at all. I don’t know how else to explain this feeling of unforeseen billing, but it’s not a pleasant one. The annoying part is that it comes at the most inconvenient of times. When is it ever convenient, really? This particular billing was the latest entry in the long-running series titled: Daniel Will Sort It Out.
“Oko mi, please send it now, they said if we don’t pay today, he won’t write exams.” Mummy, I am not your Oko naw, I’m just a 26-year-old boy trying to survive. Oh! What it feels like to be a firstborn.
I didn’t even ask which “he.” In my family, there is always a he who needs money urgently.
I recharged another daily data plan, completed the transfer, and watched my account balance drop like a wilted leaf. Yeah, it is just 35k, but you may not know what that “35k” means to me. I lay back on my bed, phone on my chest, fan turning slowly above me like it too was tired.
That was when the thought entered my head, very strong in my mind.
I think I will run away tomorrow.
Not to another state or another country, where I for see transport for dat one sef? What I meant is that I just needed to disappear, like to not exist; not that I wanted to die o, just a way to exist within myself, be in my own space, a place where there was no one to see me as the human ATM.
My name is Daniel. I am the firstborn out of 6 children. Which, in this part of the world, is like a sentence and a job description.
A job I don’t remember applying for, but I’ve been on duty since my secondary school days. “Daniel” was the household name for when something spoils, when something finishes, or when something is due for change.
“Daniel will handle it.”
Even when I don’t know how, I will handle it, and it didn’t help that my Dad was barely around. My immediate younger brother was not so far in age from me, but it still had to be Daniel. That sense of urgent responsibility has since been instilled in me since that age.
Now, my salary alert doesn’t excite me anymore. It just signals the beginning of deductions that have nothing to do with my personal life. Before I think of foodstuff or new shoes or courses I’ve postponed for two years, I’m already calculating school fees, groceries, house contributions, and one “urgent 10k” that will somehow turn into 25.
The funny thing is, this awesome family of mine, they are not trying to use me, which is what makes it harder to complain. These are real needs and problems. Nobody is calling to ask for money to buy irrelevant things; it is always something serious enough to make you feel wicked for even hesitating.
So, I don’t hesitate. I just postpone my own needs and tell myself, “Next month will be better.”
And of course, the next month comes to meet new problems waiting at the gate. This is the cycle of my life, and I wish it doesn’t remain this way for long.
TO ALL DANIELS OUT THERE, nobody teaches firstborns, or “responsible friends”, that being dependable without boundaries is a financial trap.
The problem is not about helping; it is about planning for the help. These kinds of requests shouldn’t feel like an emergency when it is actually predictable to an extent.
If you are the “go-to” person in your family, support is no longer a random expense; it is part of your financial reality. And anything that is part of your reality must be part of your budget, savings structure, and financial system.
The solution to this is to have a system. And this is exactly where smarter financial tools change the story.
Open Space is built for these kinds of real-life problems. By helping people create structured financial breathing room, so responsibilities don’t feel like drowning.
With the right tools, you can:
- Set aside a designated wallet for various expenses
• Automate small savings that grow quietly in the background
• Track where your money goes (instead of wondering where it disappeared to)
Financial growth is not only about making more money; sometimes it is about organising the money you already have. Open Space helps you build that difference.